Same. Same… but different

26 Dec
I am a dictator about my girls routine. I’m learning to trust my instincts more and more and improvise when things don’t go accordingly but in general… I insist that my girls stick to their routine. And they must BOTH stick to the routine.
 In the first weeks home from the hospital after their birth this was my biggest mission because they’re two very different little people. Blake wanted to eat every 2.5 hours and Keena just wanted to sleep and sleep and sleep. So to get them in sync but kind of work with their natural body rhythms I had to stretch B out till 3 hours and wake Keena up. Took about three weeks but they sync’d up nicely.  But I was always firm- if one gets up, they both get up. If one eats- they both eat, and so on and so on.  It helps keep my sanity so that I’m, ideally & hopefully, not feeding and trying to get babies to sleep ALL DAY LONG. 
When they were about 8 weeks old came my first major decision to let them develop at their own pace but within the structure of the routine. It was scary for me but needed to be done.
Their night time sleeping patterns started to change and I could see I had to let them transition at their own pace, in their own way. Keena was sleeping for longer stints at nighttime but Blake was still waking up every 3-3.5 hours. So then I had to gamble… do I  A) wake & feed them both even though Keena’s sound asleep & risk having two wide awake babies on my hands afterwards or B) feed Blake and let Keena sleep, risking that she might wake up right after I feed B & want to be fed making me an all night feeding machine or even more complicated than that, wake up while I’m feeding B and my hands are already full? With multiples, it’s so easy to do everything the same, same, same. But as I said earlier, I have to constantly remember that they are two different individuals and need to be treated as such, especially in their development. So, I gambled on option A.
And it was a good thing that I did too! Took me about 3 weeks but I carried on feeding Blake when she woke at night and concentrated my efforts on getting Keena to sleep through. Once Keena was sleeping through, Blake had matured enough to accomplish this task as well.  Regardless, they always started the day at the same time and in the end they both made the transition and synced up totally again anyways.
Another smaller transition I had to make was how long they each stay awake.  After they eat it’s time to play. It varies from day to day which one it is but one of them always stays awake longer than the other and they never go down at the same time…and that’s ok. Again, they’re twins but very different people. 
And as always with children, things are changing again. This week the girls turned 21 weeks and are developing rapidly.  For the past 9 weeks they’ve been on a four hour routine and sleeping like machines. They’ve been taking two, 2 hour naps and one, 1.5 hour nap but… not any longer.  This is another one of those times were I must grin and bare them being slightly out of sync knowing that they’ll both develop eventually and until then… I juggle.
Blake has recently decided to drop her late afternoon while Keena still needs that nap. So now I have one baby sleeping from 5-6:30 & one wide awake. Keena will obviously, eventually also stay awake during this period but not just yet. Again, I must remind myself that, yes, they are twins but TOTALLY DIFFERENT PEOPLE and it’s ok that ones awake and ones asleep. They are still eating at the same time and they both still sleep through the night. And during transition times I’ve got to stay focused on the big picture. Eating at the same time and sleeping through the night is the big picture in terms of a routine.
I feel like I’m going to take this transition better than the last as now at least I have a history of transition victories to draw from. But it still freaks me out a bit… guess that’s normal… maybe?  Makes me feel better to think that at leastJ Either way, I have no choice. They’re growing up and developing with or without me! I just have to take a deep breath and juggle on.

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2 Responses to “Same. Same… but different”

  1. Amy December 27, 2010 at 3:53 am #

    It seems to me that even more than learning who your girls are, you're learning who you are. Moms who know and accept themselves and parent accordingly flourish…which is why you're doing so well. 🙂

  2. waitingforluca December 28, 2010 at 7:44 am #

    Sounds like you're doing an incredible job and that you've taken to motherhood like a duck to water! Great read! x

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