Dear Sue Part 2- After They Arrive Advice

2 Oct

Dear Sue,

I forgot that you’d moved to Ireland! Listen here woman, if the public health care there is up to par and free- freaking use it! You will have numerous other large costs with twins so take any free thing you can. And you’re so blessed to have a multiples specialist in your local hospital! Take advantage of their expertise and knowledge as much as possible.

So here’s my two cents for once those little guys arrive:)

1) Get them on a routine!

I know that routines vs. child led feeding & sleeping is a debatable issue in the parenting realm but when it comes to multiples, I don’t see how their is a debate at all. For the sake of your sanity and therefore, the well being of your twins, do your best to get them on the same routine. It is definitely a lot of work, especially in the beginning, but it will totally pay off.

Also, it is very helpful for your milk supply if your in a routine. Remember you will be feeding, not one but TWO babies. Your milk supply needs time to stabilize and make new milk. A routine helps enormously with this.

 My two favorite books about routine are:

I loved Baby Wise for two main reasons; number one, the authors amazing and joyful attitude. Honest to goodness, some of the words in this book set the tone for my pregnancy and I’m soooo thankful for them. Number two, the author is the father of triplets! So even though this book is generally written for singletons, there is a chapter on multiples and some good gems in there. 
I loved this book for it’s practical, specific information. It’s basically a ‘how to’ book. It’s all nice and well to say you are going to put your children on a ‘x’ hour routine… but how do you actually deal with their little personalities and niggles that can potentially sabotage that objective? This book helped me LOADS.

2) Write it down.

Get a journal for each baby and until at they are at least 10-12 weeks, it’s extremely useful to keep a written record. Write down what time you fed who, how much each child ate, how long the feed took you, who’s pooped, who’s peed, who’s having what niggles and so on. It helps to make sure that they are healthy (because their bowl movements are your best tracker in the first few weeks), gives you clues about what their niggles actually are and how to sort them out, what each child’s feeding ‘personality’ is, when your next feed needs to be and how many times a day each child is eating. Plus, you won’t have the pressure of remembering all this info off the top of your head! It’ll all be there in your notebooks to reference at any time:)

3) You are about to become a walking circus.

Or as Husband likes to say ‘the pied piper of grannies’. People have such a fascination with twins and people (especially grannies) have literally followed me through the shops before, staring at my kids. I’ve also been so peppered with strange twin questions by total strangers that I almost loose it. It got to a point, especially when they were still small, that I’d just put my head down and just walk, pretending that I didn’t hear anyone’s questions or comments if I actually wanted to get in and out of wherever I was in a decent time. Just be warned… that’s all I’m sayin’.  

4) Put out one fire at a time.

A friend from high school had triplet boys six weeks before I had my girls. We have a similar mothering style and stayed in touch regularly when ours were babies. She gave me this mantra. Just take a second… read it again…think about it… let it absorb… breath it in… focus on it. You only have two hands- PUT OUT ONE FIRE AT A TIME.  For example, if your busy changing a nappy and the other one starts screaming, focus on finishing the nappy and then deal with the screamer. They’re not going to die from 60 seconds of crying while you’re changing the nappy. Then you have one happy, poop free baby and another who is now being tended to with your sole attention. ONE FIRE AT A TIME and I promise you’ll make it through each day.

Alright Sue, I think that’s about it from me for the time being. I hope at least some of this rang true with you and can be of help. Keep in touch, I want to hear how your pregnancy goes.

Oh yeah, here are some links to other twin mom blogs that I enjoy:


2 Responses to “Dear Sue Part 2- After They Arrive Advice”

  1. Sue October 2, 2011 at 8:00 pm #

    Ruth, you are such a gem! I get so teary when i get this type of support- i have another friend in PE who has also been writing me- you girls are just the best! Means so so much to me, and Rory, thanks so much, yes i'll fill you in xxx

  2. Leah October 3, 2011 at 12:24 am #

    Ruthie! I wish we lived closer! I love reading your blog. Miss you tons!

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